The Problem with Valentine's Day

Wednesday, February 15, 2017
I humbly bring you this post, the day after Valentine's day to address something that has been weighing on my mind. And I also want to speak to the women out there that are degrading all the men that have chosen not to buy into the commercialization of Valentine's day.

I first want to say that I am a romantic type of girl. I love getting flowers and chocolates and being taken out for a nice dinner. I love spending time with my husband and going on dates with him. I say that because I don't want you to get me wrong when you read what I have written.  I am not against the idea of Valentine's day.

However, I think that Valentine's day has become overrated and too commercialized. It has now become a competition with who gets the most flowers, or the finest chocolates.  For our kids, it is who can create the most extreme Valentine box for the school party, or who gets flowers, balloons, and/or candy bouquets when they are in the 1st grade!

When I went to my daughter's school yesterday, I was shocked at all the bouquets of flowers, balloons, candy, and stuffed animals that were there waiting for the child to whom they were sent to be picked up. I just thought to myself, what has this day become?

When I was in school, we made our Valentine card holder in art class, and it was usually made out of construction paper, was almost always in the shape of a heart, and just big enough to hold the small paper Valentine's that we would bring for each other. And what about candy? Well, that was usually given to us by our fact 9 times out of 10 it would be a box of conversation hearts.

As a child, I never received anything else. I didn't need to receive anything else. Parents' giving their children these ornate bouquets of flowers, candy, and soda are setting them up for a lifetime of expectation that will inevitably one day let them down. (Not to mention starting them on a road to poor health).

But what I really want to address is the fact that I have seen women take men to task because they do not want to get their wives or girlfriends something on Valentine's day. In fact I have seen these men berated in front of others because of this. Really? Did these women ever once ask why these men did not want to get something? Do you think it might be because the money needs to go to groceries rather than flowers? Or perhaps he is saving up to buy something bigger for her birthday or Christmas. In fact there are some that are more than likely still paying off Christmas bills.

Have you ever asked yourself if it is really that important for men to give gifts on Valentine's Day?

And what about women?  Why is all the blame laid upon men?  Don't men deserve to receive a Valentine's gift? If we are going to force men to give a gift, then shouldn't it be reciprocal? In fact this isn't supposed to be a day just for women. This is a day to show your love for one another, so...

Here is my answer: Valentine's day should be about love and mutual respect for one another.

This year is the first in the 15 years that my husband and I have been together (3 dating, 12 married) that he did not give me a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates on Valentine's day.  In fact I didn't even get a card from him! How horrible is that, right? Wrong. My husband works hard every day of the year to show me his love.  He does this by helping me with the housework. In fact, he is a much better cleaner than I am. He helps with the kids without my prodding. He listens to me when I need to vent. He holds me when I am feeling blue. And he makes me laugh when I desperately need a good laugh.

My husband shows me love every day of the year, not just on Valentine's day.

I tried to tell him this, to say that this was more important than gifts, but he kept saying, but..but..

No, I said. I would rather have a husband that shows me respect and love everyday of the year, than a husband who gives me flowers on Valentine's day out of obligation.

Women...when you start hounding men about not buying gifts on Valentine's day, stop and ask them how they treat their women the rest of the year. And women, start asking yourselves how you treat your men every day of the year. If you are berating each other into buying flowers and chocolate out of obligation, then the gesture doesn't mean jack!

So how did I celebrate Valentine's day? On the Friday before, I volunteered at my son's school for their Valentine fest, I ate lunch with him. I spent time with him. On Valentine's day, I ate lunch with my daughter at school, and I went to her Valentine's party. I spent time with her. 

That evening, I cooked a special meal, and made homemade brownies in a shape of a heart. I loved on my family and I spent time with them.

And how did my husband celebrate Valentine's day? By showing me love in all that he does. Every. Single. Day.


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